I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
