wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
