Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You are a genius and a whore.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
