Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
