She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
