I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
