i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
