Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think I died a long time ago.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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