Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize