I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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