i wish there were pregnant emoticons
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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