all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
