i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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