You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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