And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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