I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
