It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
