"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
