Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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