My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
