i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize