he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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