I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
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