my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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