you should give me head with plastic fangs in
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
