Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It's Friday. Sex?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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