You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
