what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
And then he peed in my hair
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