That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Life is so much better after having sex.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
