I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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