I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
