when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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