If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
