I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
