You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
