So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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