Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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