I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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