Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
