tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
