I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm too high and old for this...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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