I'm going to jail i love you
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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