She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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