did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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