sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
