you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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