are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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