3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
