Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
