Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
