I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize