he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
This is the high leading the old right now
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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