I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize