3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
