So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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