Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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