If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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