Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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