I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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