Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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