hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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