Sponge bath it is.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
