If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
