What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
