I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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